Moo Moo Buckaroo

-That was a friends facebook status update one day last week.  I (and I'm sure many other Moms who are members of the pumping club) couldn't help smiling to myself.

Pumping is an odd and impersonal necessity for a working mum like me. I have a deep desire to breastfeed my son as long as he needs and a financial and cultural necessity to work away from home while he is still completely dependent on me for his nutrition needs.

This creates an unwelcome dichotomy of being the breastfeeding nurturer and the absentee working parent.  Balancing stress of accomplishing enough work tasks each day to be satisfied in yourself and justify to yourself your continued absence from your child's day with the stress of producing enough milk each day at work can be challenging.

I've found myself with a problem I've read other working mums give themselves, the over production problem.  It seems to start when our babies are very young and eating constantly.  We see the looming deadline on the calendar for returning to work, it's always too soon.  The books we read and advice from podcasts and professionals tells us to pump every second we can to build up a stock of frozen milk, plus needing to save 25-30oz of fresh milk for your first day back.

So we pump. We wake in the night to pump, we pump during morning naps, we pump on one side while the baby feeds on the other, we pump before bed, and eventually by tiny increments we prepare for our absence from our babies lives.  It some days felt like the need to pump and the nagging worry about saving enough was stealing what little remaining time I had with my son.

The sneaky thing about this method of building up a frozen supply is that we teach our breast  that our babies need more milk than they can drink in a day.  I've gotten in to this downward spiral of pumping in which my body thinks I need to feed the baby 5-10oz more than he'll eat.  This leaves me painfully engorged, leaking milk during the night, and sometimes spraying my baby in the face when I try to feed him.  This then requires pumping for relief thus continuing the cycle of over production.

I have tried to leave a little engorgement to teach my breasts no to make so much, but I fear loosing my supply.  I would guess this is a fear many working breast-feeders share. So, instead I'm looking in to the possibility of donating the excess.  This may mean more coughing and sputtering from my little guy when I'm over producing on the weekends, but I think we will continue to cope it if means reducing the constant fear of loosing the one thing that connects me to him when I'm working.

Becoming a working mother - Being of two minds

I've been back at work for two weeks now.  In one big way it wasn't what I expected.  I think the work I do is very important but those first few days back I did NOT feel like my career mattered.  I guess it's all about biology and perspective - who cares about the preserving or protecting the environment when every molecule of your being is telling you how unnatural it is to be separated from your baby.

It felt very unfair to have to return to work when William was just 10 weeks old.  I know that many working mums, in THIS country, have to return even earlier but that is so unnatural!  The last few weeks of maternity leave I actually felt very resentful of our work-centric culture.

The transition has turned out to be much more of an upheaval for Jim and William than it is for me.  I've managed to fall back in to my work smoothly and (though I'm still not caught up from being gone for the summer) finding ways to be very productive (both in work and milk quantity).

Mondays are especially hard for Jim and William, I think it's partially because he becomes accustomed to being constantly cuddled and carried that when suddenly it's just him and Dad he has trouble adapting.  I look forward to the day when he understands the difference between weekends and weekdays and can comprehend that I'm not gone forever when I'm at work.

Thursdays are especially hard for me.  I work 10 hour days, which is great for the long weekends, but means by Thursday I've seen very little of my son during waking hours.  By Thursday I'm dying to spend the day with him and the hours until I can leave just get longer and longer.

Bottle feeding Expressed Brest Milk (EBM) - more complex that we thought...

We had no idea when we bought our supply of traditional glass bottles that bottle choice was so complicated and there were issues such as; there really is no such thing as interchangeable nipples for baby bottles.  From the admittedly limited reading I had done of bottle feeding EBM the biggest challenge sounded like it would be getting your baby to take the bottle at all.

It was apparent the first time we bottle fed William the bigger issue was how fast he could finish a bottle.  Being a healthy breastfed baby makes him a VERY strong nurser and the slow flow nipples on the glass evenflo bottles were no match for him.  He drank 4oz in about 4 minutes the first time which was much to fast to for him to realize how full he was and he got very upset when there wasn't more milk in the bottle.

First we tried to find other nipple for the glass bottles and that was when we learned just how complicated bottles have become, there is almost no interchangeability between bottle companies, and often none between product lines of the same company.  There were other companies making glass bottles with different nipples, but we knew we might have to give up the idea of glass for a bottle that he could eat slowly and calmly from.

After talking to other moms we tried Advent, Dr. Browns, and Breastflow bottles, and it was the very weird large double nipple of the breastflow bottles that was a winner in the end.  Of course there is no glass option for these bottles but at least they claim to be BPA free.

Jim's been practicing with these bottles in preparation for me returning to work next week.  He's getting rather good at calming tricks and he found a clever little way to bottle feed when William is upset.  Jim mimics side-lying breastfeeding in bed by laying down with William on his side and offering him a bottle that way.  I thought it was a very clever adaptation.

Green Diapering: Successes and Failures

In the wake of our local cloth diaper store closing I feel compelled to reflect on our green diapering experience so far.

Our goal of having William leave a tiny carbon footprint for his diaper use had a little set back with his extended stay in the hospital.  For the first week of life William sported disposable pampers an was cleaned with disposable wipes.  I have to say babies in hospitals is really what disposables were meant to be used for.  I can't imagine what a pain it would be dealing with all those dirty cloth diapers and trying to teach exhausted new parents how to cloth diaper along with everything else they're learning.  I know there was a time this was the norm, but I'm grateful we have a different option now.  Although I don't see any reason hospitals can't use chlorine free diapers; better for babies and the environment.

And now for our second green diapering confession we brought the open packages of of wipes and disposables home from the hospital, and we used them!  I was totally overwhelmed by the chaos in our home when we brought a screaming newborn inside to meet the fleet of pets.  I carried him straight to his changing table and tried to put a cloth diaper on him like a good green mom.  I can't tell you what a relief it was when Jim suggested we hold off on the cloth until the next day.

And the next morning we started experimenting in cloth diapering and Jim made another great suggestion; we start just with the diapers and then would ease in to the cloth wipes in a day or two.  That gradual switch to green diapering made the transition feel like an accomplishment instead of a duty.  Progress not perfection! (what the motto of all green parents should be)

The first few weeks in cloth we really struggled with the fit of his Happy Heinys pocket diapers.  His legs weren't quite chubby enough to get a tight fit and we had numerous accidents through the leg holes.  We were very glad to have some pre-folds to fall back on since the covers had a tighter leg fit.

And now for our third green diapering confession, we bought more disposables after we got home.  We're actually on our third package now and have moved up another size.  (not too bad for 7 weeks) It was great to have them for emergency back up in the diaper bag and for nights when he was so upset cloth just seemed impossible.  This last package we just bought because he was being babysat for a few hours, and it seem like the right thing to do.

We may never be one of those families who travel with diaper bucket and laundry soap and bogarts our parents washing machine at christmas to wash cloth diapers, but the way we figure it is every time we wrap his hiney in cloth it's one less disposable the will end up in the landfill.

Seeking Sanity

Seven weeks with Baby William and I finally feel like we're having some moments of sanity.  Maybe it's because we've finally caught on to his routine or because we found the confidence to take a short day trip to the coast.  But whatever the reason we've managed some very normal things this week: Trip to the coast  (with William), jogging on a cloudy morning (also with William), and trip to the movies while William was babysat.

I must say the trip to the coast did wonders for my sanity.  William slept through a lot of it, but he did get his first look at the ocean from the Pier next to the Rouge Brewery (No we didn't stop for a pint , much to Jim's discontent - but it was 10am)

We spend a few hours at the aquarium while William napped in his Ergo carrier.

We (all three) ate lunch in a Nye Beach cafe and the went for a sandy stroll while the tide was out.

I was surprised to find that nursing him in the front seat of the car worked really well (especially with my nursing pillow) and topping off his tummy before leaving the car made him much more content.  We got lots of practice changing him in the hatchback area of our car and even dealt with a awesomely dirty diaper without resorting to disposables.

It was generally felt to be a massive success and just what two frazzled new parents needed to feel sane.

Preparing for Baby - Green Choices vs. Conventional

There is a suite of universal preparations that all expectant parents make when waiting for baby.  (especially if this is baby #1)  We wanted to make these preparations without compromising our belief in the importance of living a low impact life as well as being as frugal as possible.

In many instances the frugal and green choice was one in the same, but there were some compromises we refused to make for the sake or being green, the number one being safety.

So based on the guidance we could gather from the internet, stacks of books, a few resourceful experts, and our own good sense the following is a run down of the preparations we made and how they rank on the scale of honeydew to guacamole.

A Place to Sleep
Our choices: Second hand arms reach co-sleeper and new 3-in-1 crib.

What was green about these choices:

The co-sleeper was second hand.  Second hand is almost always the greener choice, but not always the safest choice.  Whats safe about this co-sleeper is that they have no recall history for safety problems, they are easily completely cleaned, and they are only usable as a bassinet for about the first 6 months (then can be used as a playpen) so one or two children can't really wear one out.

The crib converts into a toddler and full bed, so should be  useable for an extended period of time (although now that we've purchased it I do questions its durability for years of childhood bouncing and teenage flopping).

How we could have done better:


Choose true "in-bed" co-sleeping, no crib or bassinet required.  Although I have no doubt that our little one will end up spending plenty of hours sleeping in our bed we decided against going for true co-sleeping for safety concerns.  The biggest issues we had were that according to popular guidance our queen mattress in both too small and too soft to safely co-sleep with an infant.

Purchase a second hand crib.  I looked into second hand cribs and to be honest was scared by the number of worn out or recalled cribs being sold at more than half the original price.  Especially prevalent were dropside cribs that were manufactured prior to the establishment of current crib safety laws.

Transportation
Our choices: New convertible car seat, second hand jogging stroller, and xtracycle conversion.

What was green about these choices:

The jogging stroller was second hand (and again second hand is a good green and frugal choice).  High quality jogging strollers take a long time to wear out and with a little elbow grease they can look and function like new (or at least as good as any stroller would function after a short period of use).

By skipping the infant car seat we've saved money and the waste of having to replace it with a larger car seat in a few short months.  Since the convertable car seat can fit a child weighing from 5-40 lbs and up to 49inches tall we should get a long period of use. Plus I really don't like the detachable/carrying basket function of infant car seats.  It's not so much a "green" issue as a "don't treat you baby like luggage" issue.

The xtracycle conversion to Jim's bike is by far the greenest investment we've made in a long time.  In the present and near future it has significantly cut back on the car trips for in-town errands and trips to the recycling center, and when our little guy is a year old and big enough for a bike helmet we can get the peapod childseat for the bike and eliminate most of our in town driving all together.

How we could have done better:

Purchasing the car seat second hand would have been greener, and I did look into that but once again safety was the stumbling block.  I contacted quiet a few people selling used carseats on craigslist and when I asked about care and maintenance of the seat each person proudly stated that they regularly washed the seat cover AND STRAPS! Apparently the fact that that makes the straps unsafe, and need to be replaced isn't a widely known fact.  I mean does anyone even read their manual, they all say to spot clean the straps don't put them through the damn washing machine.  But I'm getting side tracked on a rant.  So in the end I felt like the used car seats out there were totally sketchy and we bought the most unbelievably expensive convertible car seat that we felt was the safest and best option, hopefully we'll get a lot of years of use out of it.


Something to Eat

Our choices: Long term breastfeeding, new breast pump for returning to work, glass bottles, and breast milk freezer trays to make cubes for long term storage.

What was green about these choices:

It is actually a bit shocking that breastfeeding a baby is an alternative choice people have to make rather than just the normal way all babies are raised, but again that is a different rant for a different day.  Breastfeeding is greener and a much cheaper than the alternatives, and there are all the negative side effects of not breastfeeding that also increase the costs of feeding your baby.

All the accessories of breastfeeding needed for returning to work reduce the "greenness" and "cheapness" of breastfeeding but we tried to go as minimal as possible.

Purchased a new pump without any accessories or fancy carrying bags which just seemed unnecessary and expensive.

The intent of the  glass bottles is to purchase something that will last for a long time and be passed to other families to be well used (like all those old canning jars we're still sterilizing and using each summer).

The milk storage trays seem less wasteful than using the individual storage bags which must create a lot of plastic waste.  this way we can freeze the milk in 1 oz cubes and pop them in to another container for long term storage.


How we could have done better:


The best way to improve this choice would be to not have to pump breastmilk but to be able to feed our little guy myself for the first few years.  That isn't in the cards, so we're working with what we have.

Another alternative would be to buy these accessories second hand.  I looked for second hand glass bottles and milk trays and found nada.  I also researched the second hand pump issue and came up with two big problems:

1. The main brand you find used (medela) isn't one of the few brands that prevent milk from entering into the pump itself and potentially contaminating it. 
2. Pumps wear out gradually and can have reduced suction while the motors still seem to pump normally; slowing down the process, significantly reducing your pumped quantities and potentially effecting production.

A Place to Poop

Our choices: Cloth diapers; a mixture of pocket diapers and pre-folds.  Mostly purchased new as gifts from loving friends and family and a few used covers from out local second hand kids shop.

What was green about these choices:  

Cloth diapers is another awesome example of the greenest option being the cheapest option.  For a few hundred dollars we can diaper a baby through potty training and not make a unalterable negative impact on the environment (plus save the estimated $5,000 people spend on diapers for a baby!)

Another big bonus; we were able to register at a local diaper shop and having an on-line registry made shower gifts very easy.

How we could have done better:

Purchase more of the diapers second hand.  We did find some covers at our local second hand shop for a good second hand price (about 1/4 the original price) and we bought everything we thought would work for us.

There are a lot of used cloth diapers on craigslist, especially pocket diapers, but I think most are a ripoff.  They generally sell for 70-80% of the original price which I think is way too much.  I even found some un-usable pocket diapers that needed to have the elastic entirely replaced (presumably the covers were put through the drier repeatedly instead of hung dry over night) that were being offered for 40% the original price!

Well that's it really, a summary of our rationalization for baby preparations.  Now we just need the little guy to arrive and test all our carefully considered preparations.

Why Are We Here?

If life is the grandest experiment that we all participate in then reproduction is not just the perpetuation of a species but a replication of an experimental subgroup.

I write this somewhat in jest, but also see an underlying truth in the statement.  When we ponder how to raise offspring we inevitably imagine little miniatures of ourselves that share our appreciation for the parts of our culture we find most important.

Doesn't the die hard Vikings fan buy purple onesies for their baby?  The dog lover purchase a stuffed puppy for their child to cuddle with?

Thus through early indoctrination we replicate our own experimental group, and just like any experiment poorly planed by amateurs each experimental group resembles the previous but is not a perfect replication and is instead improved by lessons learned through previous replications.

And the two of us as new parents are no different, although since our cultural choices run to the left side of green rather than to the mainstream there is a certain amount of cynicism and eye rolling we must endure from the mainstream judgmental consumer.

Luckily we have more than just our own smug satisfaction to help us endure.  There is a continuously growing green parenting and green lifestyle movement being fueled not only by the desire to reduce our own and offsprings impact on the planet but perhaps even more significantly fueled by the frugality of living a greener lifestyle.  This feels especially  important when beginning what is widely agreed upon as the most expensive stage of our lives; parenthood!

So we, like so many other green parents out there, feel the need to document this stage of life for a multitude of reasons; the need to ally ourselves digitally with like minded people, give ourselves an outlet for 'green introspection', and of course to simply document the process of life for our own satisfaction and the entertainment of others.